Yoga Common Sense

I was just at a hot class where 45 people were laying in silence.  5 people were sitting up and chatting.  It says SILENCE on the freaking door to the studio.

I have to admit that a Bikram teacher was nice enough to walk a class I was in through etiquette.  Moksha is a little more subtle.  Some people don't get subtle.

So, here are the basic rules of most yoga studios:

Entering The Studio

Shoes off!  Most studios request this right at the front entrance, but even if they don't, do not take or wear your shoes into the practice room/studio.

Please leave your personal belongings in the locker room.  No one will steal them. Karma and all that.  Under no circumstances should you bring your cell phone into the studio.  In fact, most studios ask that you turn cell phones off even in the locker rooms.  Something small like a set of keys in the summer is acceptable to avoid the change rooms, but if it doesn't fit in a pocket, don't bring it into the studio.  Water bottles are - at most studios - acceptable to bring into the studio.

Once you enter the studio, most classes are silent except for the teacher - unless you're guided through some sort of noise making.  Seriously.  When you walk into a yoga class and start to talk to your friends, it disturbs the others in the class who are trying to focus.  If you need to talk to your friends, set up your mat and leave the studio to chat.

Positioning

When you enter the studio for the first time, set your mat up beside someone who looks like they've been there before.  This will prevent you from putting your mat in between two rows, etc.

If it's your first class, resist the urge to set up in the front to have a good view of the teacher.  During yoga, the teacher talks a lot to cue you vocally but probably won't physically demonstrate the whole practice meaning that you will have no one to look at for an example if you place yourself in the first row.  Your best bet - and what's best for the rest of the class - is to choose a mat placement in at least the second row or further back.  This way, you won't be a distraction to the rest of the class when you have no clue what's going on.  Also, you'll be able to watch people with a more experienced practice.  AND other beginners in the back rows won't get all screwed up while watching you to see what to do.

Before class, it's common practice to lay in corpse silently.  Lay down (like the rest of the class will be doing) and position yourself with your feet towards the back of the room and your head towards the front (where the teacher will be).  Lay as still as possible.

If you become overwhelmed during the practice or just need to take a second to watch, take a knee or sit on your knees, facing forwards.  Resist the urge to put your legs out in front of you or turn to the side or lounge on your stomach.  Don't just stand there - it's distracting.  Don't flop around like a dying fish.  If you cannot sit upright, return to corpse (laying on your back with your head towards the front of the class).

End of Class

At the end of class, many students may choose to spend some time on their mats.  If you choose to get up and leave, please do so mindfully.  This includes maintaining the silence, being quiet as you collect your mat, quietly heading for the door, and quietly opening and closing the door.

If the teacher's by the door when you're heading out to your car, it's always nice to thank them or at least offer a smile.

I know that not all studios practice all of these rules, but by following all of them, you will be respectful of your fellow yogis and your teacher no matter which studio you visit.

Namaste, Bitches!

Yoga vs. Yoga

I found this article about Bikram on Yogadork.com.  Click HERE if you're interested in more Bikram crazy-ness.

What I find interesting is Bikram's opinion that his yoga is the only yoga.  I've done Bikram Yoga.  I can tell you that it is certainly not completely unique and it's certainly not the 'only yoga', both of which are claims that Bikram likes to make.

I enjoyed the intense workout that Bikram Yoga gives, but the poses were similar to other types of yoga, and of course, there are other forms of yoga that obviously pre-date Bikram which disproves Bikram's claims.  I also found the man himself a little much.  Seriously.  You're not Elvis.  Also, I missed the calmness of yoga - Bikram classes are completely void of anything anywhere close to calmness.  So, while I enjoyed fact that it was an amazing workout, I found the philosophy a little hard to agree with which eventually sent me running for my nearest Moksha when the craving for hot yoga hit.  Also, Bikram is a very strictly controlled class.  There are no variences.  The teachers actually follow a script, which they repeat to every single class they teach.  It can get... a little overdone.  By day five, I was giggling every time the instructor told me to open my chest 'Like a flower. Petal. Blooming' and fold over 'like a japanese ham sandwich'.  Or to 'lock your knee, lock your knee, lock your knee.'  I mean, what do those first two quotes even mean?

Moksha takes the quietness and calmness of what I would call stereotypical yoga and mixes it with the heat and intesity of a Bikram workout.  The instructors don't yell.  Sometimes, there's great music.  You don't feel like a failure at life if a pose is a bit too much for you.  Also, while the classes are about 90% the same every time, there are differences in poses from class to class and, also, Moksha will alter their series every once in awhile.  Nothing major.  But enough to keep it interesting.  I don't know if I could do the same 90 minute class every day for the rest of my life.

Obviously, I'm a little biased.  I guess it comes down to personal choice.  If you'd like to have an instructor conduct the same class every day, using the same script every day, yelling at you every day, then go take a Bikram class.

Personality Test

So, at my day job, I spend a lot of time searching the internet for things that somewhat relate to my job description. Today, on my quest through the numerous personality test websites, I came across this gem and it told me the following about myself:

Diagnostic Overview: Your responses indicate that you're basically normal, except for your obsession with sheep and running naked in the moonlight. Electroshock therapy might help; taking foolish inkblot tests on the internet sure as hell won't. Get a hobby (one not involving sheep) and try to keep your twisted impulses under control. People who answer as you did always cheat at card games or other pursuits.
Long-Term Prognosis: Deep-seated fantasies about Margaret Thatcher and roto-tilling equiptment means you will never be able to pass as a normal member of society. Your disorder often leads to prancing about in the middle of a busy street at midnight in leotards and a cute umbrella. This is good, because being run over by a truck removes oddballs like you from the gene pool.
Additional Fears: You're also afraid of cats, red cars, and hummingbirds. This is silly-when was the last time hummingbirds caused you any harm?
Sounds about right :)

Now, onto a yoga related quiz I've made up for your general consumption! What does the color of your yoga mat say about your personality? (second part of the analysis tells you how the color impacts you).

BLUE: You are seen as trustworthy, dependable, and committed. Blue is calming, cooling, and aids intuition.

GREEN: You are peaceful and have a host of fresh ideas. Green is soothing, helps alleviate depression, nervousness, and anxiety, and offers a sense of renewal, self-control, and harmony.

YELLOW: You are optimistic, creative, and happy. Yellow is mentally stimulating, it activates memory, stimulates the nervous system, and encourages communication.

ORANGE: You are fun and flamboyant, radiating warmth and energy. Orange stimuates activity, stimulates appetite, and encourages socialization.

RED: You are the centre of attention, aggressive, and live your life fully. Red increases enthusiasm, stimulates energy, encourages action and confidence, and offers a sense of protection from fears and anxiety.

PURPLE: You are sensitive, insightful, and artistic. Purple is uplifting, calming to the mind and nerves, encourages creativity, and is associated with spirituality.

GREY: You are timeless, practical, and solid. Grey is unsettling and expectant.

BLACK: You are authoritative and powerful. Black evokes feelings of emptiness, mystery, and inconspicuousness.